how i coach: in depth
What do I actually do?
What does my coaching actually look like in practice?
If I were commissioned to write a fairytale case study of the Ben Lucas coaching experience, I couldn’t imagine a better protagonist than Rens, the executive coach and ex-McKinsey partner.
He went from living a life full of excuses not to take care of himself to practising Kung Fu in the hospital ward where his child was being born (not on my orders, I’ll have you know).
Let’s delve into detail: the methodology, the results, the style.
the situation
Here’s what Rens said about his situation when he came to me:
‘Things looked fine on the outside: busy executive life, trying to be a good husband and dad, a fulfilling social life. But I was running on autopilot in a lot of ways. I wasn’t in crisis, but I had drifted far from what grounded me. Physically, mentally, spiritually — there was no real daily anchor, no clarity, and I felt a constant lack of energy.’
From my perspective: Rens struck me as a happy, talented guy who had lost touch with his root amidst the demands of corporate and family life.
He yearned to reconnect with his deeper self and to actually do all the healthy things that most just talk about.
Brilliant mind, scattered energy.
Perfect client.
the method
‘What changed with Ben wasn’t just talking about it. It was figuring out how to change it, and accountability, structure, and a kind of gentle but consistent pressure that made change actually stick.’
So, what did we do?
First: the 30-minute morning practice.
We built a personalised daily Kung Fu practice that became his non-negotiable anchor – one practice to cover strength, flexibility, flow and stillness.
He let go of other coaches and specialists for my comprehensive approach.
The practice is delivered via:
Guidance and corrections during our weekly calls
Follow-along videos for daily practice
Explanation videos breaking down each movement.
We started with 30 minutes, but he’s now sneaking in extra sessions in the middle of his day. He’s caught the bug.
Second, 5-10 minutes for the daily journal.
He tracks his focus areas: practice, tech usage, health habits and downtime from work.
He journals daily on his most beautiful moment, highlights, discoveries and challenges.
Third, 30-minute weekly check-in.
Space to set intentions for the following week, review last week’s intentions and make reflections on the week gone by.
Fourth, bespoke exercises.
For example, we set the tone for the coaching block with a deep journalling exercise in which he:
Crystallised his vision of himself in his full power;
Defined big-picture life intentions that trickled into yearly, quarterly and monthly intentions; and
Identified and unravelled limiting beliefs that were blocking his wilder fantasies.
This lit the fuse, giving expression to the voice that had been muffled amidst the noise.
Fifth: Weekly 90-minute calls.
We systematically work through areas of his life that feel out of alignment.
I give him the tools that I’ve been obsessing about refining with myself and clients over the past decade.
Many coaches talk and analyse a lot. This hurts my brains. I coach mindbody practice and practical tools – the products of my bajillions of hours of self-experimentation.
Summary: The Structures
30-minute daily morning practice
5-10 minutes daily journalling
30 minutes weekly check-in
An average of 30-60 minutes of additional work per week
90-minute call three times per monts
He won back this time twice over from tech distraction and general inefficiency, of course.
results
‘I hesitate to use the word “transformational” (most of the time when people say that, it’s BS), but in this case, I’ve seen profound shifts across multiple areas of my life, including ones I didn’t think were possible. When I started working together with Ben, I set ambitious goals that I thought would take two years to reach. We hit most of them in three months, and we’ve already set the bar much higher.’
Most people set high goals and beat themselves up for falling short.
Rens, and this is common among those I coach, set lofty intentions and was staggered as he obliterated them.
Highlights:
Physical Resurrection. Rens was an athletic kid but his body fell into decay amidst adult responsibilities. But within four months of our work, he has reversed decades of decline and reports that he hasn’t been in this good shape since he was a teenager.
Chronic Pain. He now hardly notices his chronic pain, which had been hounding him for decades. Anyone (especially me) who has lived through chronic pain knows how big this is.
Nail Biting. This ‘lifelong habit [he’d] basically given up on’ changing is now completely gone.
Digital Discipline. ‘My phone usage has gone down 80%.’ No more distractions pre- and post-bed. And as is always the case in those I coach, Rens was amazed by how much inner space he recovered by cutting Netflix and news.
Family. ‘I’m more present for my wife.’ Despite me stealing Rens away from his family for our work, his wife is delighted with her more present, calm and (dare I say it) lean, sexy husband.
Work. ‘I’m more effective at work and achieving things in shorter timeframes than I ever thought possible.’ Many people who come to me struggle with task organisation, deep work focus, email and meeting-management and other work-related challenges. Not Rens, although his work effectiveness improved as a side-effect. But in case you wonder, they’re on the menu.
the deeper internal shift
Beneath these albeit life-changing transformations lies the real magic:
‘Working with Ben has given me a renewed belief that I can change whatever I want about my life.
Ben has become an anchor in my life - like a mirror reflecting the side of me that always wanted to get my shit together. This work has helped me recover a version of myself that I didn’t realize I’d lost.’
Many people wander around with a secret sense of internal defeat after a lifetime of failed resolutions.
Rens recovered something priceless: unshakeable faith in his own agency.
His perception of possibility has been blasted open. The vibe I get from him: ‘Holy shit. If this is possible in four months, what is possible in five years?’
Pardon the arrogance, but I suspect the unique focus I give is the catalyst. Rather than packing in twenty clients amidst a busy city life, I work with maximum five and spend the rest of my time charging up through my mountain-Kung Fu monk lifestyle where I develop magical Qi superpowers. Everything I ask of my students, I ask twice of myself. I don’t ask them to go as far as me, but the energy transmission can at least awaken their inner master a little.
gentle, mischievous discipline
‘As an executive coach myself, I’ve developed a healthy skepticism of people who call themselves coaches. But Ben is the best coach I've ever had — and a lot more. He brings a rare mix of depth and practicality, seriousness and humor. His approach integrates spiritual practice, real-world impact, and sustainable habit change, all without feeling forced or performative.’
Critically, Ren’s discipline hasn’t made him more rigid; it’s made him more playful.
He does it all with an attitude of self-love rather than self-punishment. He has become lighter and more free.
He chuckles as he tells me about the increasingly absurd locations where he finds excuses TO (rather than not to) practice: the library, in the playground while other parents stare. ‘Here’s another one for the list,’ he says.
Previously, my favourite was a client practising at the airport before a morning flight. But Rens one-upped him, practising in the hospital ward where his second child was being born.
‘I deeply respect your courage to jump from a kind of mainstream life to something very far off the beaten path... I deeply value your discipline in with which you gone down that path... But what I probably value most is how you stay true to yourself and haven't lost yourself. You keep this wonderful humor about you and there’s a lot of humanity.’
Some hear about my work and assume I am a hardcore disciplinarian. But I haven’t once cracked the whip on Rens and our calls are full of adolescent humour.
He sometimes calls me sensei, guru other times, and always with a smile.
I enjoy simultaneously living the mysterious life of a Kung Fu master while laughing at the absurdity of it.
I once fantasised about a time when I would operate as a purely ferocious Kung Fu master. But my warm, childish side turned out to be equally important, ensuring discipline comes from a light place, free from restriction and rebellion.
infinite process
‘This is going to be a lifelong thing now where I just keep getting better and adding new things. I'm actually not aiming for a specific goal. The journey is really what I'm enjoying, and I think that feels very healthy... I want to keep this a part of my life forever.’
Rens has just signed up for another year of fun.
Rather than seeing coaching as a short-term investment of energy to fix a few problems, he now sees an infinite future of possibility.
In fact, 100% of clients for my premium one-on-one coaching have either re-signed or sought to collaborate with my in another capacity.
feeling resonance?
Maybe it’s time we talk.
Come here for more details of my coaching.
And come here to book a short call with me. Coaching with me is a big thing, so I take things slowly. I’m not in the rushing sales business.
