Flexibility for Stiff White Men
How I Got Chair Splits
There comes a time in any middle-aged white man’s journey into practising Kung Fu in China when he realises he has neither the genetics nor youth of an eight-year-old Chinese girl when it comes to flexibility.
When I arrived at Wudang Taoist Traditional Kung Fu Academy, it quickly became clear that world-famous Master Yuan had no interest in my Tai Chi.
"You're too stiff. You need more stretching."
Every time he saw me, same question: "How is your flexibility?"
I was a 31-year-old former weightlifter and lawyer. Youth was starting to fade. I felt the first flickers of decline — that quiet dread that the best years might be behind me.
While I might lack the genetics of the little Chinese kids, I have on my side a gigantic Western ego that cannot back down from a challenge.
I refused to succumb to ageing.
Splits became my Moby Dick.
Attempt 1: Brute Force
I tried the traditional martial method. Forcing myself into splits multiple times per day. Mind over matter. The way they do it with the Chinese kids.
I felt hardcore for a few days.
I ended up injured and exhausted.
My flexibility went nowhere.
Attempt 2: YouTube
30 days to splits videos. Yes, I’m embarrassed to say that I believed the hype.
30 minutes of gentle yoga with Sara Beth.
All rubbish.
Attempt 3: Science
As a last resort, I went back to the systematic, scientific Western method I’d left behind when I came to China.
I joined the Mobility & Flexibility Toolkit under Matthew Smith's guidance. It taught me a way of stretching that incorporated everything I'd used to become freaky strong back in the day: tracking, planned rest periods, multiple sets with clear progression targets.
No drama. No thrashing. Just systematic progression.
Front splits in two months.
Head to toe and then chin to toe soon followed.
Recently, I reached the holy grail of flexibility: chair splits.
Golden boy
When I showed Master Yuan my flexibility, I became the golden boy.
He gathered the entire school of 200 kids to tell them about my story. About how effective his stretching methods are if you trust the process.
Little did he know I had ditched the Classical Chinese approach entirely for a systematic approach to spirituality.
Here’s a video of him talking about my story on Chinese social media.
Why I’m telling you this
Here's what I've noticed with my coaching clients.
Many of them are disciplined in many areas of their lives. High performers.
But two things keep eluding them: consistent publishing and consistent flexibility improvements.
They start and stop. Start and stop. The breakthrough never quite comes.
I don't think that's a coincidence.
Flexibility is about opening yourself to expand into something bigger. There's fear in stretching. Discomfort. The instinct to contract rather than soften.
Writing — real writing, the kind where you actually say what you think — is exactly the same.
Both require you to move beyond the edge of what feels safe.
Both require systematic practice, not random bursts of motivation.
And both, when you finally break through, change how you move through the world.
Removing rust
There's a damaging myth going around.
"I'm just getting old," they say. "My body's slowing down. You know how it is."
I believe there are two types of compassion. One is to pat someone on the shoulder. The other is to give them a slap.
I'm a big fan of the compassionate slap.
So here's yours: 80% of the degradation that happens as we age is not the result of age. It's lack of use.
People don’t get stiff due to age. They get stiff because they don’t use their bodies.
The rustier you get, the more frail you become. The more frail you become, the less energy you have to remove your rust.
So, don’t wait.
My student John is 75. He can get into a full lotus.
My other students are reliably reversing years — sometimes decades — of accumulated stiffness within months.
None of us are special. We just stopped believing the myth.
Listen to your inner Peter Pan
If there's a part of you that refuses to accept decline — that doesn't want to watch your vitality and fire slowly flicker away as you get sucked into the deluge of obligations and responsibilities — good.
Trust that instinct.
Something is slipping away. But it's not youth. It's use.
Your body reflects your inner state. The external rust mirrors the internal clutter. The obligations you never questioned. The things you stopped doing for yourself. The fire you let others extinguish.
If you want to clear the rust from your body, start by clearing the clutter from your life.
The Lesson
Systematic beats random. Every time.
You're not too old. You're too rusty.
Rust, unlike age, is fixable.
But the window doesn't stay open forever.
Not just for stiff white men. Anyone refusing to become a stiff old blob is welcome.
